Ask Yourself These Four Questions Before Dating Any Friend.
If you’ve been hanging out with a cute guy. He’s smart, he’s funny, and you’re super comfortable around him. Maybe you’re just friends.
It’s definitely possible to go from just friends to dating and I’m going to tell you how in just a second. Believe it or not.
Is dating a friend a good idea? Yes, But before you make a move, you need to be sure of your true feelings for this guy.
You’re comfortable together, he makes you laugh and when he’s around, everything just seems a little brighter. But do you really like him romantically?
Ask yourself these four questions before dating any friend.
Number One, Do we want the same things in a relationship?
Obviously, you work well as friends or you wouldn’t be considering changing the relationship. But do you want the same things? If you’re close then chances are you already know whether or not he’s looking for something serious. If you don’t know, then casually bring up dating and relationships and see if you two share the same outlook and values.
Number Two, Would we be good together?
Wanting to be together is one thing, but are you two a good fit? Do you go together like peanut butter and chocolate or are you more like peanut butter and gravy? This can be tough to suss out without actually taking the plunge but think of it this way: does he make you feel good about yourself? Does he build you up or tear you down? Could you two be stuck in an elevator together for twelve hours without driving each other crazy?
This is where dating and friendship are different.
Number Three, How would dating change our relationship?
Going from friends to more than friends is a big change. It’s common we get hooked on a guy because he’s funny and charming and we like the way he makes us feel like a friend but will we feel the same way when the relationship changes?
You’re going to be spending more time together and relying on each other more often. Do you think he’s up for that? Are you?
Plus, you need to consider what would happen if things don’t work out. It’s common for dating to ruin a friendship or even disturb whole friend groups. This shouldn’t dissuade you from trying but it’s important to be aware of this moving forward.
Number Four, Why are we not together already?
This is the key question. If you two are attracted to one another and you’re both available, why are you not together already? You clearly have chemistry or you wouldn’t be watching this.
Make sure you know the answer to this question before you move forward. Quite often it’s as simple as the fact that you were seeing someone else when you met, you’ve changed as you’ve gotten to know one another, or you don’t know how the other feels.
But sometimes it’s because he’s just not interested. Be honest with yourself and make sure that you have a chance before you take your shot. You don’t want to lose a friend and a boyfriend.
All that aside, there are plenty of reasons that it’s great to date a friend
For starters, a lot of great relationships begin as friendships. Look at Chandler and Monica. Robin and Ted. Penny and Leonard.
This often works because you’ve already made a connection outside of the bedroom and you know each other’s personalities and values.
You know what it’s like to spend time together and you enjoy just being yourselves. This takes a lot of the guesswork out of the early parts of a relationship so you can focus on the passion.
Plus, if it’s a long time coming, the anticipation alone makes it super hot and exciting. Plus, you get to finally see them naked. What’s not to like?
Alright, so you’re convinced. You’re going to make him yours. But how? This is way different than getting together with a guy you’re not friends with. We’re in uncharted territory here.
There’s good news though. You have a natural advantage: access. You’re close and you clearly get along. You know a lot about him and you know what he likes and doesn’t like. And if you two are really close, you know what he likes in a woman and what he doesn’t like.